I was regaining my vision, everything was foreign. It was a desolated train compartment, almost empty, rupturing the darkness and accelerating. The only other passenger was a woman with a new born baby. I had a good look at the interior of the compartment, some seats were good and brand-new, some were dirty and some even rusted. I wondered how people could travel on those seats, may be when at peak hours people might. Yea there are all kinds of people in this world.

 My thoughts were distracted by a remote controlled car, a toy. There was this boy, may be 6 years old with his father. First, the woman, the baby, now the father and boy, strange. I watched the boy and the father closely, the boy is happy and I can say that father was satisfying all his desires. Nice!

Some bits and pieces of memories flashed through my mind. It was raining, the auto rickshaw driver dropped me in front of the house and I should have been 8 or so. I ran to the veranda from the gate, I had a school bag and a water bottle in my hand, the door was open. At that time, all we had was a dining table and few chairs, the ventilation and carpentry works of the house was still pending. I entered through the door and find a T V on the dining table. A TV, my jaws dropped, I been asking my father to get a T V for a long time, though I was not considerate for the financial situation at home. Or I wasn’t big enough to think about money and stuff. It was surprise for me and I find my father hiding under the table waiting to see my reaction. I threw the bag, the water bottle and ran to him and gave him a big hug. I don’t think I had any excitement in my life like that till now. I don’t remember what I told him, but this moment always comes back to me. I miss those days, I always think of being home near them with a small job in town rather pursuing this corporate life.

But that’s life, I recall my mothers words what she used to say, when I fight with her: “you won’t understand my feelings, until you have your own child”. I have started getting uncomfortable feelings about fighting with parents now itself, I wonder how bad it’s going to be when I am a parent, unless I act.

The next passenger in the train was a young boy, I guess he should have completed his college but sure he hasn’t started working. It easy to make out from the cloths he wore.

He was lost, just like me when I was out of the college. By this time, he would have moved away from parents from discussing his needs and concerns, also he would have started to feel that he made his parents spend so much money on him for his studies and he is worried about money now. He also might have had a relationship at college which he regrets for wasting his time and money.

I looked outside the window, the acceleration of the train left me hardly anything outside, to see and enjoy. Just then it struck me, there weren’t any stops through out the journey, then how did all the people get in. I looked around the compartment; there was no woman, no father, kid and no young boy. In the corner someone in early twenties, sat with a pen and paper lost in thoughts. His face was vague, or is it my vision; he is trying to pen down something from his thoughts.

The women, the father, the young boy; no one stayed, everyone was gone and soon this lost man as well. I am paranoid, if the journey lasts long, next would be a married man worried over his freedom, then a dutiful father with no glory, and then repenting old man.

Am I happy? Will I be happy to see the next passengers as tired and repenting?

Or...

Someone old with a light beard holding his wife’s hands who has got the grace in her face. From the mere expressions on their face, I can say they still talk a lot at this age. They talk about love, their passions, and they even pursue them. He is creative, should be a writer/director or even owns a small business and she is supportive. They saw me sitting alone in the corner, they come by and said

“Son, don’t waste your time sitting here, get out and go places. Do what makes you happy, search for your love.”